Welcome to the Men's Night 2006 Season
Sep 15, 2006 | Posted by Pat AlpaughIt Ain't Over Til It's Over... And This One's Over! Two hundred and thirty five participants, fourteen teams, one hundred and five matches stretched out over fifteen weeks and it came down to 4 points separating the top 4 teams. It really was a remarkable ending to the year. I was a little late in arriving but as soon as I made my way into the lounge I was informed of premature toasts and hasty congratulations as the overall standings changed several times throughout the night. When the dust settled and each Captain realized there were no more players on the course it was Mr. Mark Moffat and his unholy bunch from Team # 2 at the top of the page. Congratulations to all of the members of Mark’s team – I’m sure you will enjoy the Men’s Night Champions Celebration later this month and, from what I’ve heard, one hell of a team BBQ is being planned for the following week at the Captains house. Winning, is good.
Though participation was way down because of the weather, enthusiasm was at an all time high. Special mention must go to Mr. Brian Wood and Mr. John Nicholls, both valuable members of Team # 2, who might very well be responsible for the win. Where others were no-showing their way into second, third and fourth place, Mr. Wood and Mr. Nicholls gamely weathered the morning storm to make sure they "got their nines in". If nothing else, they were determined that they would at least count towards participation. It was indeed fitting that Teams # 2 and # 14 finished the year with identical records so the two point difference in the final tally was entirely because of participation – exactly as it should be. Though nowhere near as entertaining as the team portion of the evening, there was still some good stuff going on in the individual categories. Little Norm Stewart (according to the Expositor) won the final long-drive competition of the year, Dr. John Lind posted a personal best of 43 to help catapult his team into the money for the week and our final qualifier for the Closest-to-the-Bubba, Mr. Jim Chapman, was identified. Jim has made no bones about the fact that he wanted to qualify for that trip and he could be seen every week, range-finder in hand, taking dead-aim at the Bubba. Though it was often out of range for poor Jim (early in the year Chappy asked if I would please consider making it a second shot contest every other week) he refused to give up and finally reached the Promised Land this week. Congratulations to all of the qualifiers – you are in for a great golf day. My game this week was with Mr. Randy Novak, Mr. Gary Dorsey and Mr. David Bethune. Randy is a good player and very easy going, Gary is a grinder that gets the most out of each shot and then there’s Dave… well, Dave Bethune is a different cat. You might recall, a few weeks ago, I wrote that every golfer I have ever known possesses some type of golf related gift – my pairing this week for instance; Randy Novak is plenty long off the tee (when he hits a drive… it stays hit) and Gary has a very good short game that allowed him to overcome the odd wayward drive. And then there was Dave. Well… let’s just say that, on this night anyway, his gift wasn’t readily apparent. Despite my legendary penchant for pointing out only the positive in every situation I just couldn’t see how his 19-over par 55, a three-dog appetite at the turn and a bow-legged gait of such magnitude that it looked like his bag was hanging in a pair of parentheses could be categorized as a gift – golf related or otherwise. I promise to keep working on it. Please remember, the Swatfest begins at 2:30 p.m. If you are planning on attending please take the time to put your name on the sign-up sheet in the lounge. Because we go to great lengths to balance the teams it is very difficult to change the partners once they have been established so please make every effort to attend once you have signed up.
See you at the Swatfest,
Pat 
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| 0 Comments Sep 8, 2006 | Posted by Pat AlpaughThe Home Stretch...Despite my late finish this week there was still a pretty good crowd hanging around the lounge when I arrived. I was sitting with Mr. Gerry Byrne and our Men’s Night Starter, Mr. Jamie Dropko when the door to the deck swung open and in walked the Captain of Team # 11, Mr. John Sharp. A dubious distinction perhaps but Mr. Sharp is the first person I met after joining the club and he acted as my sponsor when I applied to join six plus years ago. That is correct - I had never met Mr. Sharp when he agreed to sponsor me along with Mr. Ron Bush. Yes, I know... things must have been tough back then. Johnny is a long-standing member, quite a good player who could give us all a lesson in course management and a life-long steadfast opponent of the concept of brevity. Now, I don’t know if you’ve ever sat with Sharpie in the lounge but I highly recommend the experience. I’ve always wondered how long a new member would sit with John before realizing that, for all intents and purposes, they were sitting with a superstar when it comes to turning oxygen into carbon dioxide. If you just up and left mid-sentence Johnny wouldn’t skip a beat. He would just casually turn to find the nearest ear and continue to pound away. Should you naively try to join the dialogue John might allow you to sneak a word in but only to provide him the opportunity to immediately top whatever you said with a quick, "that’s nothing, before you got here we use to…" and then he’d be off again. What I find most entertaining is that John hasn’t the slightest idea of what you actually said because he wasn’t listening anyway. He just somehow knows that whatever you did, saw or heard he has done, seen or heard much, much better. You gotta love ‘em, don’t you? As I wrote last week this upcoming Wednesday is the final week of the team portion of the program and then the week after is our 4th annual Swatfest. The way I see it, either of the top four teams can win this thing and secure their seat at the Champions Dinner on the 29th of September. It should be rather entertaining afterwards so please make an effort to congratulate the winners, make fun of the losers and who knows... maybe the winning captain will buy us all a drink. The Swatfest is scheduled for Wednesday September 20th - we are looking at a 2:30 p.m. launch. There is a sign-up sheet in the lounge so please, when you are next in the locker room, add your name to the the list - you don't want to miss this event. By the way, I am always looking for prize donations so if you can help me out I would love to hear from you.
See you next week,
Pat
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| 0 Comments Aug 31, 2006 | Posted by Pat AlpaughHole-in-one!!! Hole-in-one!!!I am pleased to announce that Mr. Jeff Shannon, proud member of Team # 4, bagged himself an ace this week! I am even more pleased to announce that he didn’t get it on the 8th hole!!! It is an entertaining study of the human condition when you observe a fellow Men’s Night participant first hearing the news of a Wednesday hole-in-one. Without fail, the first thought is, "not on number eight I hope"? At this moment they couldn’t care less who got the ace just as long as the $5500 is still up for grabs (like most of us have a chance). The second thought, "hey, that means a free drink", is, of course, quickly followed by the six most common congratulatory words when a comrade has finally achieved one of the truly great milestones in the game… "who the hell is Jeff Shannon"? It’s a tough crowd, my friend. Team's # 2 and # 12 seem determined to make things interesting. Their performance for that past two weeks has allowed all but the gallactically untalented to get back into the race and from where I sit there is no indication next week will be any different. There are 5 teams with identical records of 9 wins and 4 losses so the only thing separating them are the participation points they’ve accumulated throughout the year. I would hate to be the guy that missed either of the next two weeks if my team came up just a point or two short. Now is the time for all good men to come to aid of the party. REMINDER: The Swatfest is Wednesday September 20, 2006. We are looking at a 2:30 p.m. launch and dinner is at approximately 7:00 p.m. in the Grand River Room. I have posted a sign-up sheet in the locker room. I have to be honest with you my friends - I am running out of things to write about. As I drove out to the club this week I swear I was more concerned about the focus of this week’s editorial than I was about my game, though, that might be stating the obvious. Thankfully, there were a few interesting things that took place on the course this week… Mr. Jeff Pulham’s ascension to the top of the M.U.B. list was all but assured when he made a 6-foot slider on # 4 for a sextuple bogey 11. He really did have it all; a bunker shot that went out-of-bounds, a shank, an unplayable lie down by the 5th tee, a chili-dip (my personal favourite), a bladed wedge down and across the green and then a quiet three putt. Perhaps most interesting is that Jeff didn't really seemed to mind. As a matter of fact he never seems to mind - about anything. He is just one contented guy. He tried on every shot, practiced impeccable etiquette and was quite encouraging to his fellow participants throughout the entire ordeal. Curious. It was interesting to hear from one of our newer Men’s Night player’s, Mr. Mike Brumaru. Mike was at even par after 5 holes and thinking of a personal best when that damned ghost-of-Dino showed up and began haunting his putter. Dino must have really gone to work on the poor bastard because he managed to go 13 over for the last 4 holes. One of my pet-peeves is the statement that any area of the golf course is, "not in play". As much as I try to avoid stating things as absolutes I am prepared to make an exception here – sooner or later absolutely everything is in play on the golf course. The tee shot of Mr. Chris Kozub on # 11 is a case in point. Because we teed off later in the day, the setting sun was becoming a bit of an issue as we reached the tee. As Chris prepared to hit his shot we dutifully held up our hands in an attempt to block out the sun. Though rarely of any value, this seems to be the accepted practice when attempting to track a shot. We all heard the sound but none of us were able to pick up the flight of the ball. The problem, according to Chris, is that we were all foolishly looking south when we should have been looking west because his ball flew directly over the 7th green. The next time you are standing the middle deck of the 11th tee, have a look down at the 7th green - that ain't easy. If you are still in the mix, I hope you play well. If your team has no chance, please remember, we keep a very close eye on participation and I believe very strongly in rewarding those that support the program. If you are a member of Team # 4 – well, please don’t blame me. I only work here.
See you next week,
Pat
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| 0 Comments Aug 25, 2006 | Posted by Pat AlpaughYou Win Some, You Lose Some...My most sincere apologies for the tardiness on this week's editorial. A couple of technical issues coupled with an unusually busy Thursday made things a little difficult. The standings are getting rather interesting though the excitement came at the expense of my Team # 2. Our "fearless" team leader, Mr. Mark Moffat, came at us hard and heavy this week in his weekly inspirational Email message to the team. He was fed up with our lacklustre performances to date and he even went so far as to entice the entire squad with a team barbecue if we are able to finish on top of the standings at the end of the year (BYOB of course). It appears the boys took the participation portion of the memo to heart but ignored the section dedicated to performance – we finished tied for second last. As a matter of fact, the top two teams in the standings (#12 and #2) both took it in the beets this week and Team’s #14, # 5 and # 6 were the beneficiaries of our poor play. Please take note that the difference between the current first and second place teams is strictly because of participation. This week was filled with both singles and better ball matches. I was scheduled to play Mr. Reg Madison in the quarter finals of the Fred Hunt this Wednesday and last Friday Mr. Don Murhpy and I went at it with Mr. Nick Rizzo and Mr. Kevin Neil in the Gary Cullen Better Ball. I really enjoy the club competitions because it gets you out to play with people that might not otherwise be a part of your regular circle. I have played with Reg in a couple of mixed events but this was the first time he and I would have at it without our girls as back up. My match with Reg surprisingly went my way while I only wish things had gone as smoothly with the team game… As the four of us approached the first tee a fellow member teasingly asked me if we were preparing to do "battle". Regardless of how liberal a definition you affix to the term "battle", this match would not have qualified. I know he was only joking but I have always found the idea of athletes referring to themselves as "warriors" to be offensive and that comparing an athletic competition, let alone a golf game, to any type of "war" is absurd. As a matter of fact, when you consider that my partner’s physique most closely resembles a bag of milk, it seems a bit of a stretch to even characterize this match as an "athletic competition" but I’d prefer you keep that part quiet. As we approached the tenth tee things were going poorly. We were a couple down and Mr. Murphy and I had adopted the disposition of a couple of unraked bunkers but he assured me he would "turn things around" on the back nine. His "turnaround" was both immediate and definitive; he began hitting his drives in to the right-hand woods instead of the left. Now, Don is one of those individuals that relies heavily on the motivational value of self berating and let me tell you he can be pretty hard on himself though from what I saw he was pretty much deserving of everything he said. Throughout the round he continued to use the phrase, "you know Pat, when I’m on the golf course, I swear I’m my own worst enemy". Well, my friends, after his performance in our match this past Friday - I’m a damn close second. We were defeated 2 down.
See you next week,
Pat
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| 0 Comments I Get By with A Little Help From My Friends...Aug 17, 2006 | Posted by Pat Alpaugh with Jeff ShannonView entry |
Men's Night Sponsors:
Co-Title Sponsor  Co-Title Sponsor  Pat's Men's Night Classics
Riviera Shoal Creek ________________ MAXIM Coors Light Road Trip Qualifiers..._________________WEEKLY PRIZESLong Drive...Long Drive...Closest # 3...Longest Putt...Closest # 8...Low Net ...Low Gross ...Hole-In One Prizes...Hole # 8 - $5000Hole # 3 - $ 751_________________Please contact me at pat@golfscoring.net if you have any questions or comments about our Men's Night Program.WEEKLY PRIZES
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