Would someone please tell John Wieringa''s bunch of dopes from Team # 8 that they have to get out and play?  These guys should be running away with this thing but they can''t seem to find their way to the club. Their record of 7 wins agains just 1 loss is easily the best in the league but their deplorable participation has them sitting in third place. Come on boys, get out and support your team... and yourselves!

     Speaking of the heat... I guess it was getting to Mr. John Wieringa, the aforementioned captain. In an attempt to rally his troops Johnny could be heard all over the course giving his boys absolute hell prior to his going out for the night. Surprisingly, John''s gross score of 41 resulting in his being listed as a Most Useless Bastard did little to dampen his team''s winning ways. Now that is what I call leadership.

     This week''s story is about our friends that comprise Team # 3. These boys, led by Captain, Mr. Ben Fuschino, have been hanging in there all year despite having but one victory to date. Accepting one humiliating defeat after another is difficult and although Ben''s method of coping is contrary to the popular belief among the Psychiatric community, he has always believed that the most successful method of dealing with any type of golf disappointment is good old-fashioned denial. Benny doesn''t want to hear any of this positive talk schmutz - it just didn''t happen.

     Trying to maintain a positive attitude throughout a round of competitive or even casual golf is in his opinion, impossible. It can''t be done. Ben has yet to tee it up with anyone that didn''t sooner or later utilize the tried and true method of berating his or herself as a motivator. It is a simple fact that mentally beating up on yourself is an important step towards playing better golf! Trust him on this. Every player has practiced the art of self-hatred when things really begin to go badly. In the early stages of a round we often gently coax the ball in an effort to persuade the damn thing to behave. Should our ball choose to ignore us, a little groveling might turn the trick. The next step is indubitably anger, usually directed at our equipment or the unfortunate happenstance that will once again prohibit us from finally carding the low score we know we are capable of. As the round continues to unravel - we turn our rage inward. No longer content with wishing the worst for our opponents, we seek to punish ourselves as well. Rather than asking for a weakly struck shot to clear the greenside bunker, we scream wildly at our ball to "get in that trap"! In an attempt to really teach ourselves a lesson we may even request for the ball to bury under the lip, hopefully making our next shot virtually impossible - just as we deserve! Perhaps then we will finally learn to play this infuriating game. Makes perfect sense to me.

 

 

See you next week,

 

 

Men''s Night Committee