The story of young Bobby Hagen and the team of lucky Bastards

     Team 7 continues to roll on but the new big story is the hard charging Team Carter.

     I refer to Team 2, as Team ‘Carter’ because first year Captain Brian thought he had to draft all his family on the team…well, blood is thicker than alcohol.

     Well Brian’s family strategy is starting to pay off as his motley crew have sobered up and somehow staggered to fourth place in the standings with one week to go. Team Carter’s playoff success can be directly attributed to the fine play of last years one number pick Ronnie Nauts (see story below on this years) and the super smooth swinging Andrew Scholten.

     Mr. Nauts as been a picture of consistency all year for Team 2 while players named Dino, Gunner and Bartlam have bought their A games lately and have been counters two of the last three weeks, they say timing is everything, welcome back Team Carter.

     I feel I need or maybe because I really want to tell this story of Bobby Hagen, not many of you know it so I shall tell this sad tale, as warning to future players hoping to be a number one pick.

     Bobby, once a young hot golf stud full of promise and future glory, drafted number one overall by Team 1 captain Rock Thompson.  Team 1 took a gamble and pinned all its hopes on this young golf prodigy.  Rock, being the captain that he is, dedicated himself to Bobby’s development he groomed, trained and fed his star player chicken wings and beer every Wednesday night in his basement and he even went so far as to have him stay for the odd sleepover.

     But in the end like so many before him Bobby succumbed to the burden and pressure that comes with being number one pick or maybe it’s because his captain just loved him too much, who knows, with young Bobby in counseling now to kick his chicken wing addiction lets hope he can make a full recover for next year.  Next time you see Bobby give him your support and a big hug... Lord knows he needs it!

     Question... how has Team # 4 managed to stay on top this long when their captain can’t break his waist size and contributes to his team’s total only about once a month?

     Captain John is a unique individual and, I think it’s safe to say that, when it comes to his performance as a Captain… no one has achieved so much with so little and, yes, I mean that exactly as you think I do.  What defines John’s captaincy and perhaps the man himself is that he never allows his own dreadful performance to dampen his inexplicable yet unwavering self belief.  I remember a time earlier this year when a group of dissenters mocked poor Mr. Wieringa for the fact that his team got off to a hot start despite his deplorable performance.  As usual, John completely ignored the slurs and immediately launched into a long and drawn out discourse comparing himself to world-class coaches, military geniuses and late-night motivational gurus…

"Scotty Bowman didn’t score goals, did he?  You didn’t see General MacArthur out on patrol, did you?  Have you ever seen Tony Robbins walk on the hot coals?  Of course not, John yelled!  Their purpose, like mine, is to teach, encourage and lead young men to achieve the greatness they never thought they could!"

     I was thinking listening to his rant, blah, blah, blah, this chop is just lucky and what makes it more maddening is that shortly thereafter; Mr. Wieringa told me he was thinking they could stay on top all year this year.  Well, my friends, I'm almost certain that Johnny can't skate, his putter's gone AWOL and I'll bet he burns his feet.  For now, Team # 4 has a hold - lucky bastards.  Go Team # 4 go!

     P.S. Remember to sign up for Swatfest and can someone please pour a cold one on Team # 7... they are still on fire!

The Committee