We really had a great turnout this week particularly when you factor in the iffy start with the weather.  I had a couple of things I needed to clear up with the Pro Shop so early yesterday morning I called and asked how things were looking.  The reply, "not so good.  It’s about 60 and there’s a 30% chance of a shower".   I told him he might have to be more specific...  I honestly didn't know if he was referring to the weather or our convenor, Larry.  Either way, I figured it might impact our participation for the week.  I'm pleased to say I was wrong - 133 boys stopped off at the 1st tee on their way to the bar yesterday which is, by all accounts, pretty damn good.  Thanks to everyone for accepting the new format and continuing to make this league a lot of fun.

     Some exciting matches yesterday which led to a pretty good vibe in the bar as dispositions changed from good to bad to ugly every time a few more scores were entered.   You can certainly pick out the team captains.  There they are, sitting up front; completely unashamed, their eyes glazed and fixed on the TV like Tom McIlmoyle staring at an abandoned plate of French Fries.  At the end of the day we had three teams without a blemish on their record (Three Putt Birdies, Beer Cart Badgers, Balls of Fire), three teams who have yet to claim a win (Hosel Rockets, Bush Wackers and Ace Holes) and four teams who are still trying to figure out how the hell the scoring works.  A quick recap… a team score is determined by the total of the three (3) lowest gross scores and the three (3) lowest net scores posted by the guys on your roster.  Winning teams earn 10 points, losers get 0 and, in the case of a tie, each team earns 5 points.  In addition to these points, teams earn one (1) point for each player that posts a score.  The more often you play the better it is for your team.

     The talk at my table focussed on Mr. Jerry Ferster and his remarkable week.  Jerry almost bagged what was previously believed to be, well, unbaggable; the elusive Tuesday White Whale if you will.  Never in the history of any Men's League known to this Anonymous Blog writer has any league participant finished first (on his own) in both the low net and low gross categories in the same week.  Mr. Ferster’s gross score of 35/ net 31 was this close to getting him into the record books.  Unfortunately for Jerry, Mr. Bryan Stanley and Mr. Greg Weese are also sandbaggers of epic proportions meaning all three of the guys tied the low net with 31.  Nice playing by all three of you but, at least for now, the Tuesday White Whale remains at large.

     Those of you who know me well will attest that when given the option of writing about an uplifting and remarkable performance or that of someone who crapped the bed, I typically choose the latter.   So, as long as we’re speaking of Useless Bastards, I had the pleasure of playing, once again, with, Mr. Brad Bushey.  Brad is a really good guy, a member of team Cornies Corp. and sadly, when under pressure, an even poorer putter than I am.  His 48 gross placement putting him solidly atop this week's Most Useless pile, is evidence of that.  In one of the most dramatic examples of irony I have ever witnessed, Mr. Bushey actually turned to me and asked if I noticed anything odd about his putting stroke.  I thought about it for a moment and then quietly explained that, "although I am no expert, it appears to me you are experiencing a focal dystonia meaning the pathways that govern the inhibition of competing motor programs break down resulting in the overriding of the original motor program.  Two motor programs are operating simultaneously, leading to miss-hit putts, which by the way, is not unlike when Mr. George Costanza voiced his concern that a "George divided against itself could not stand".  I continued, "In my opinion, the neuroanatomy of the basal ganglia and concomitant neurophysiology are the primary areas of concern.  It seems clear to me that stress is causing the release of the activating neurotransmitter glutamate, which in turn causes a release of dopamine in the basal ganglia pathways that may result in the disinhibition of competing motor programs".  (I want to stress the word may because as I wrote earlier, I don’t consider myself an expert).  This, I told him, could be the reason he doesn’t putt well under pressure.

That is all.

An Anonymous Blog Writer