Glendale Men’s League

In Conjunction with

Pearson-Dunn Insurance

&

The Frisina Group

Present

 SWATFEST

September 26/2006 Time TBA.

Don’t be left in the cold… all the in people will be there…for those of you who missed it last year  here is your chance to improve your social standing at Glendale.

What in the hell is Swatfest? For those poor ignorant souls, here is a reprint of last year’s event.

Let my people go!

I must admit that I am not a particularly religious man. I am however, a big fan of Hollywood’s religious epic movies, such as Ben Hur, The Robe and my favorite The Ten Commandments. After our first annual Swatfest and watching 66 golfers leave the first tee at the same time, I now know how Cecil B DeMille and Charlton Heston must have felt when filming the Exodus scene of the slaves leaving Egypt. To paraphrase the movie, “They did not know where they were going, and they cared no more than the clubs and balls they drove.” The excitement and confusion on the first tee created a glorious chaos. The rules were simple; lose your ball and its over! Barry James of Kerry’s Dollar Store and our sponsor led off with a high short drive that found the hill on the right, respectable considering the pressure. The Game was on! When Brent Smith’s drive went right and flirted with being lost his partner Joe Partito was on it before the ball even touched ground. Cart in hand Joe cut in front of the hedge on the first tee, and with twenty something golfers still to hit he was on his way up Mount Albion to search for the ball. There was only one small problem, the cart Joe took wasn’t his, it belonged to Brian McCombe! When Brian discovered his clubs missing first tee duties fell upon his partner Joe “Bambi” Demerling. Joe a former club champ teed one up and let it rip! The ball was still on its upward path as it sailed past the Worlin mansion on its way up Mount Albion! “Hey Partito! Incoming!” The ball had not yet struck ground; Bambi and his faithful ward Brian were already in the Honda and shifting into third! They raced by the Worlin estate. They flew by Partito at such a pace that Brian didn’t even recognize his own bag as they passed it! They screeched to a halt at the side street. Brian suffering from the effects of supersonic travel stumbled out of the car and tripped over a ball.

                                     “What number is it?”

                                      “It’s a three.”

                                      “@#*%! Ours is a four. Hey there’s a guy over at the bus stop. I’ll ask him.”

                                     “Excuse me, I hit a golf ball up this way I hope I didn’t hit you.”

                                     “No”

                                     “You didn’t happen to see one come up this way did you?”  The words were no sooner out of his mouth when Bambi noticed the white cane the man was holding. Returning to the car Bambi asked Brian to see the ball.

                                   “I thought you said the ball was a three”

                                   “Yea, a Hogan three.”

                                   “You didn’t notice the big red #4 marked on it!” ….STILL IN THE GAME.

The car skidded to a halt at the bag drop. Brian vaulted out of the car and raced to the tee.

                                   “Sorry Brian, O.B. You’re out!”

Swatfest was won by the team of Ian Thompson and Roy Gunnell in a 3-way playoff over the team of Dan Frisina and Jeff Coomber and the team of Jim Frenza and Paul Jeffery.

Finally, the Committee is considering a new award for next year. The Stupid Stupid Man Award. If we had it this year although there would be many nominees there would be but one winner, Mr. Kyle Worlin. During Swatfest Kyle was issued the official Swatfest ball. At the time Kyle asked if he could play his own ball and he was informed that he could not. Kyle proceeded to the tee, reached in his pocket, grabbed his ball and placed it on the tee and launched the best drive of the evening right down the middle of the 1^st hole. Placing his tee back in his pocket he noticed his pocket contained a ball. He pulled it out and much to his chagrin he noticed it was his official Swatfest ball. He turned to Mr. Clarke ready to ask what the penalty was. Before he got the chance Ian held up two fingers and Kyle returned to the tee. To my friend Ron Worlin the good news is you still have Dave.

Until next time, try not to be nominated.

Please be aware Tues. Sept. 5 the Men’s League Playoffs will continue, despite aerification, play will be off the back nine.