Welcome to the Men's Day 2010 Season
There is no such thing as a free lunch or drinkOct 6, 2010 | Posted by Shankless
Reader advisory Warning: Actually, this week there is none...it's the last blog for awhile....so if I offend you...get over it.
Ingersoll G&CC Wed Sept 29th, 2010 --- WE HAVE A GOLF PUTTING CHAMPION!!
The practice green @ IG&CC was the place to be Wednesday evening as 60 Wednesday Men's Day participants took their shot (or putt) at $750. The contest was quickly lowered to 7 then 4 then 2 contestants. After many rounds of head to head putting Member Gord Pike edged Ken Albridge with a 6 foot putt to win $750!!!!!!
Immediately upon the victory, most of the 60 participants headed into the clubhouse in anticipation of a victory drink assumely courtesy of the 2010 Putting Champion. Five minutes went by.........no drink. Ten minutes went by...no drink Fifteen minutes went by...no drink. I starting getting the shakes so I ordered a draft....it was freaking out the people at my table.
A Search committee was formed and a posse went looking for the elusive Putting Champion....but to no avail---the champ was gone.
Rumblings started throughout the clubhouse. Hacker Hayes, IG&CC's Most Useless Bastard of the Year yelled out.....".We've been Piked. I certainly am no mother***ing piker. I'll be myself a drink."
So I says to myself "Piked"? What does he mean by that -- well according to Webster Dictionary the definition of Pike is
pike
–verb (used without object), piked, pik·ing. Older Slang .
to go, leave, or move along quickly.
Hmmmm......for those who were dissappointed not to get a drink relax.......Our champion lived up to the name.
On a serious note......congratulations and clutch putting Mr. Pike. I really could have used the money....but then again..you have to be able to putt to win.
Kudos..............................
Parting Shots..................Captain's first
Parting Shots ------- The Pro
HAVE A GREAT OFFSEASON.....FOR THOSE OF YOU TAKING PART IN THE CLOSING STAG....SEE YOU ON THE 16TH.
SHANKLESS TUCKER |
Men's Day Sponsors:
Sponsor Andy's Auto Don Robinson wins the the Labatt draw for September!! Prize: Adidas Sweater Congrats Don!
Weekly Numbers June 2 - 52 Players June 9 - 54 Players June 16 - 57 Players June 23 - 58 Players June 30 - 62 Players July 7 - 58 Players July 14 - 58 Players July 21 - 54 Players July 28 - 51 Players Aug 4 - 59 Players Aug 11 - 50 Players Aug 18 - 61 Players Aug 25 - 58 Players Sept 1 - 61 Players Sept 8 - 56 Players Sept 15 - 54 Players Sept 22 - 46 Players
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Posted by: The Pro | Oct 6, 2010 01:34 PM
2010 The Year of the Hawks
Sep 28, 2010 | Posted by Shankless
(Reader Advisory Warning........the author is going to paraphrase/quote Bill "Hacker" Hayes.......need I say more)
WEEK #17 Highlights
This is a great year for teams with the name "Hawks". First it was the young team in Chicago winning a Stanley Cup for the first time in 40 years and then Hacks Hawks pulled off the unthinkable and took out Wilson CowPatties 188-197 to take first place by 7 points 306 to 299. Hack's team also lead the league in participation points.....with 181......it was the determining factor in the final standings as Wilson's Cowpatties had more wins than the first place Hawks
Final Standings:
Standings for Men's Day 2010
179
Hacker's team was lead by Luke Ramsey with a gross 39. Ron Grundy, Wayne House and Dale Coghlin counted for net 37's with Joe Hawkins rounding out the scoring with a gross 38. Once again, Hacker Hayes was a "useless bastard" (to which his wife Elva says........"ahhhhh yaaa") carding a 45.
For Wilson Cowpatties -- Pat Ring was once again the team leader with a respectable 41.......rounding out the scoring was Dave Wilson (surprise!!!!! his score counted) a net 36 and Stewart Woods, Rob Lemmons and Brian Woods carding net 40's.
Wilson took the loss particularly hard. When asked to express his feelings he had this to say "I can't believe we lost. Look at this league.....everyone is horrible. We lead the league in wins and don't finish in first.....who makes up these rules?!? (Indirect shot at the pro). I am not going to point any fingers.....but if you wanna know who's fault this is...talk to my teammates.....
Top 10 Reasons (according to Dave Wilson) why they lost.......
1. "My ovaries are killing me these days"
2. I went celebate in preparation for the big day but I couldn't find the party. (Ah...Dave---that should read "celebRate")
3. Frank Donavon is horrible.
4. Hacker said mean things to me before the round.
5. Brian Travis wore normal clothes.
6. Purposely lost as I wasn't allowed to buy a round if we had won.
7. Frank Donavon is horrible.
8. Pat Ring failed to shoot par.
9. My Putter failed me.
10. I was gripping my shaft too hard.....(insert your own punchline here)
Top 10 Reasons (according to Hacker Hayes) why they won
1. "We took fewer strokes then they did you f**king idiot!
2. "We didn't have to count my syphillitic c***s***ing f**king score!
3. "My team shows up......the Cow Patties blew their wad in the participation column. Hey Dave--- pretty simple...show up and get a point.......duh.........".
4. I only had 3 beer during the round.
5. I went celebate in the month leading up to the big day (editor note: this wasn't voluntary)
6. We didn't need to count Flubb's score.
7. If it looks like a "choke" and acts like a "choke" --- then it probably is a "choke".........(Hacker then goes into a coughing jag).
8. We are obviously better than those f*ck*ng clowns.
9. We chose the right team name----pride took over. Just what this club needed a potential champion with the name Cowshit......couldn't let it happen.
10. I refuse to lose to any guy who wears a pink shirt.
See everyone on Wednesday..........One more blog to go.....Good luck with the putting contest!!!!!!!!
Shankless
Bring out the Cliches
Sep 20, 2010 | Posted by Shankless
(Reader Advisory: Given that this is the last blog of the WEDNESDAY NIGHT MEN'S LEAGUE....the writer strongly caution's any non-participant from reading any further. The contents of this section contains inferred language that may offend some. Any reference to actual occurrences is purely coincidental and will not stand up in a court of law. Relax....read...enjoy)
AND THEN THERE WERE TWO...........THE COW PATTIES MAY ACTUALLY SLIP TO SECOND PLACE WITH A LOSS TO HACKS HAWKS. HERE ARE THE STANDINGS............
So let the prognostications begin..........
........It all comes down to this.......
.......There is no tomorrow...........
........Loser goes home................
Will the Cow Patties actually choke a season long lead? Are they the Capitals or Penguins or Bruins of the Wed. Night Mens League? Can Hack recover from Tuesday Night Bowling to get enough rest to be able to grip a club and see the fairway? Will Wilson's Team members show up (only 7 participants to Hack's 12 last week)? Stay tuned.
OK Folks......after having to endure the Cow Patties coast to coast lead in the standings..a funny thing happened last Wednesday.......THE SHANKLESS TUCKER'S BEAT THEM. To paraphrase Dave....."This is how I did it......I am really good you know....."
In response to my taunting.....Dave Wilson Quipped --- "Big Talk Tucker....nobody is going to remember who finished in 3rd" . My only reply was....."But they will remember you losing after leading all year".....then he cried........
Before we go any further.......let's get some commentary from both captains. (Editor again strongly cautions against reading any further as 11 time club champion Hacker Hayes WILL be quoted).
Question #1: OK Gentlemen. How are you going to individually prepare for Wednesday?
Wilson: First of all Tuck, I wanna thank you for not asking how I did at the Oxford-Amateur this weekend as I need to focus on the positives (editor note: Dave shot 92 and 97 on the weekend.....and as Forest Gump said "that's all I got to say 'bout that).....that being said Dave boldly stated....."I am going celibate until after the match on Wednesday". I have nothing to add other than Mrs. Wilson must be the happiest woman in the world.
Hacker Hayes: Tucker...I have been playing this f*****g game for fifty f******g years. I can play this course through the back of my "F*****g eyelids....which may have to happen as I am bowling on Tuesday night and I tee off at noon on Wednesday."
Question #2: Who is going to win?
Wilson: "Who do you think stupid? Of course we are going win...just look at my roster of players .......I got low scoring Pat Ring......I got newcomer Stewie Wood and a bunch of other guys....I just can't remember there names right now.....but they''ll be there" (Editor note......I think a round of drinks will be coming there way should they hold off the hawks...all in favour say "I").
Hacker Hayers: "The team that shoots the lowest team score you "f*****g tool. It is hard to believe we have a shot. But leave it to Super Dave. My guys have played steady all year and they won't let me down. I know I can be a useless Bastard and the rest of the guys will still come through. And don't even F*****g think of mentioning to the rest of the team that I will buy drinks if we win........." (Just quoting....didn't mention a thing......)
Question #3: If you win......how are you going to celebrate?
Wilson: Crabbie Joes
Hacker Hayers: Crabbies
GOOD LUCK TO BOTH TEAM ON WEDNESDAY AFTERNOON!!!!!! REMEMBER TO LOGIN TO www.golfscoring.net/ingersoll for up to date scoring.....
GOLF JOKE OF THE WEEK
Off the seventh tee, Joe sliced his shot deep into a wooded ravine. He took his eight iron and clambered down the embankment in search of his lost ball.
A New CC and A Former CC Impresses on Wed
Sep 13, 2010 | Posted by Shanless Tucker
Here we are in the middle of September.......our season is now down to a few weeks to go before we all embrace our winter time activities. I don't know about you-----but every activity I seem to partake in is that much more enjoyable as beer is readily accessible. Some would say I have a drinking problem.......they are wrong....I never spill the stuff.
OK.......first the Club C
Congratulations to our new Club Champion Mr. Brodie Nadeau...captain of the Back Breakers. Brody shot 77, 78 and 82 on his way to keeping 2 shots clear of the field. So here is your fearless bloggers 5 Questions to our new champion:
1. Congratulations Brodie --- do you realize that unnofficially, I think this was the highest winning score in the history of the club (+21)?
Answer: Great.....first you compliment me then kick. Make up your mind Shankless. I shot the lowest score of the field. How did you do....hmmmm? (editor note: I didn't answer....too embarassed)
2. Your close friend, Luke Ramsey was openly cheering against you....care to comment?
Answer: Luke gave me a ride to the course. He said.."If you win......you are walking home". God, it is good to have close friends. He thinks I want to rub the win in his face.....that is just immature. Luke, if you can read---and you are reading this....hahahahahahahahahah.....I have my own car!!"
3. What was the club you chose to drive with on 18?
Answer: Rescue club
4. How did you make out with that choice?
Answer: I needed to be rescued from the decision. A little scrambly after that call.
5. Most winners, after winning an important championship announce they are going to Disneyland? What are your travel plans?
Answer: That's simple --- Crabby Joe's (A big thank you to Luke Ramsey on this one folks)
And Now for a Former Club C
The Foot Wedgers massacred the field last Wednesday absolutely pounding the backbreakers 178-200. Captain Jason Spence after carding a 1 Over 38 (folks this is after teeing off at 6:35 pm....playing 8 and 9 in virtual darkness had the following comments to say:
In other action......Hacks Hawks remained in 2nd place edging out my team 193-196. I had my first DNF of the year.....I quit before I got to the first tee....yellow blocks........ok...it was the white blocks. Now for the up to date standings. I am done writing about the Wilson Cowpatties. It just hurts...so much. Go Hack Go. Go Hack Go. Have fun out there.S
andings for Men's Day 2010
160
Posted by: Captain Foot Wedge | Sep 13, 2010 11:04 AM
Posted by: The Pro | Sep 15, 2010 11:05 AM
Posted by: Captain Back Breaker | Sep 16, 2010 01:51 PM
Posted by: The Pro | Sep 18, 2010 06:20 PM
Well That Was a Nice Break
Aug 28, 2010 | Posted by Shankless Tucker
View entryMen's League Update
Aug 14, 2010 | Posted by The Pro
View entryWelcome to August
Aug 4, 2010 | Posted by Shankless Tucker
View entryWeek 8 Update/Week #9 Preview
Jul 28, 2010 | Posted by The Shankless Tucker
View entryWeek #7 Update---League Tightens Up
Jul 18, 2010 | Posted by Tucker----
View entryGame on Pro.....Game On
Jul 12, 2010 | Posted by Can't Get into my Kitchen....Tucker
View entryWeek #6 Update
Jul 12, 2010 | Posted by Tucker - Winless in Match Play
View entryWeek #4 Results
Jun 28, 2010 | Posted by Tucker --- Obviously Split Personality Issues
View entryWeek #3 Men's Day Update
Jun 18, 2010 | Posted by Tucker --- THE MOST USELESS BASTARD
View entryWeek #2 Men's Day Summary
Jun 12, 2010 | Posted by Mike Tucker
View entry2010 Men's League Rules
May 28, 2010 | Posted by Steve Bryant
View entry2010 Men's Day
May 4, 2010 | Posted by Men's Day Committee
View entry