Welcome to the Men's Night 2009 Season
Men's Night PlayoffsSep 17, 2009 | Posted by The CommitteeToday marks the 1st week of the playoffs so grow your beards and let's get at it! I’ve included a Frequently Asked Questions list for those who aren’t entirely clear on the format. Remember, our playoff format is really just the FedexCup with participation. Q: Which Pool will my team be in? A: The top 6 teams will be placed gently in Pool A and the next 8 teams will be jammed roughly in to Pool B.
Q: What is the format? A: The playoffs are basically the FEDEX CUP with participation. Teams compete against the other teams in their pool for a piece of the weekly purse (points). The lower your team score the more points your team will earn that week.
Q: What happens to the points my team earned during the regular season? A: Teams start the playoffs with the same number of points they finished the season with.
Q: How are the points distributed during the playoffs? A: The first week points list will look like this... 1st... 20 Points 2nd.. 15 Points 3rd... 10 Points 4th... 5 Points 5th... 2 Points 6th or lower... 0 Points The points will increase by 25% for each week of the playoffs.
Q: Will participation still count? A: Absolutely! Participation points will be added to the points each team earns.
Q: How long will the playoffs run? A: The playoffs will run for three weeks including today.
Play well and play often,
The Committee 
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Men's Night Sponsors:
AGSI  Georgetown Toyota  Johnson Associates  Dunlop Insurance  Partners in Planning  Georgetown Dental Clinic  J.S. Jones & Son Funeral Home  WSC Insurance Group  AMJ Campbell Van Lines  Tartan Colour & Chemical  Allison's Farm Market  Lawrences Lawyers  Kubota Canada Ltd.  2009 Attendance...May 21 - 111 Players June 11 - 88 Players June 18 - 110 Players June 25 - 114 Players July 2 - 112 Players July 9 - 111 Players July 16 - 105 Players July 23 - 91 Players July 30 - 113 Players August 13 - 99 Players August 27 - 97 Players September 3 - 107 Players September 10 - 94 Players ________________________
Notable Achievments...
Low Net (29) Andrew Salisbury
Low Gross (32) Robbie Greenwell
Low Teams (169) Team # 6
Beat the Pro May 21... 0 June 11... 2 June 18... 3 June 25... 1 July 2... 1 July 9...
Total for 2009... 7
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The House That Robbie Built...
Jul 10, 2009 | Posted by The Architect
The low mob this week was Team # 10 with a very nice 170. Sincere congrats go to Messrs. Thomson and Gentes who shot gross scores of 37 and 38 respectively and to Paul Sanderson, Leigh Yerxa and Richard Garden who took care of things on the net side of the ledger. Tough team to count on; a net 34 got you a spot on the Useless Bastard list. I guess a hearty "well done" should also go to Mr. John Nother who played like crap but, thankfully, picked the right day to be a hanger-on. Each participating member (even the poor playing ones) of Team # 10 will find their Pro Shop accounts just a little healthier than they were on Wednesday. Good job, boys.
Speaking of Useless Bastards... I can’t tell you how shocked I was to see that Mr. Barry Shama had played so poorly. The truly sad part about his horrible net of 52 this week is that I was told Barry has actually been working on his game. Earlier in the year he was fitted for a new driver and not long ago he went to the trouble of taking a few lessons. Yesterday, Barry incorporated a new drill into an already peculiar pre-shot routine that was apparently designed to make him look like an idiot while shooting a preposterously high score. You really have to respect the effort guys like Barry put in so they can continue to play like crap. According to Mr. Shama, the purpose of his new exercise is to promote a stationary head during the backswing but I’ll be damned if he doesn’t move everything but his bowels during the downswing. I told him he should keep working on it but, honestly, that was only to provide the rest of you with the opportunity to see him in action before he switches to a less foolish method of swing-repair. I’d prefer to keep that last part quiet if you don’t mind.
Finally, if you take a quick glance at the list of low gross scores this week, you will see the name, Robbie Greenwell, who, as per usual, shot a pretty good score. Robbie told me he was obviously happy with the result but he kind of scraped it around yesterday. He wanted everyone to understand that the practice of pocketing large sums of money despite what would have to be described as a "smoke and mirrors" performance is not something he necessarily enjoys so, to ease any psychological burden, he immediately donated his winnings to a wonderful local charity… Robbie Greenwell House. A charming little trust he recently established so he could build himself another house. He asked me to tell everyone, thanks... he can hardly wait for next time.
That is all,
The Architect
Posted by: Robbie Greenwell | Jul 16, 2009 08:13 PM
Posted by: Andrew Salisbury | Jul 17, 2009 12:10 PM
Posted by: Team 2 member | Jul 17, 2009 12:54 PM
Posted by: Useless Bastard | Jul 17, 2009 03:38 PM
Posted by: Useful Bastard | Aug 4, 2009 12:53 PM
Posted by: Useless Bastard #99 | Aug 24, 2009 02:06 PM
Correspondence
Jul 3, 2009 | Posted by The Architect
I received a considerable amount of feedback regarding last week's article although not everyone felt the item was, shall we say, uplifting. Although I can’t imagine why, I was told that after Cory finished reading and explaining the piece to him, Andrew was none to pleased. I would like to take this opportunity to apologize to Mr. McCormack if I, in any way, upset him and I promise that any future references to either his golf game or his stature will be both short and sweet... rather like a McCormack dipped in chocolate if you know what I mean.
Speaking of correspondence... occasionally I receive a note that catches me off guard but, as with everything, I try my best to respond in a thoughtful manner...
Dear Sir:
Have you ever considered a Ringer Board for Thursday’s?
Signed,
Love the league
___________________________________________________________
Dear league lover:
No.
Signed,
Iron Covers, Scoring Beads, brush tees, baskets on pull carts, suction cups on putters, fat guys wearing J. Lindeburg, golf holes with names and everything else that makes the game gay enough already.
I have absolutely no idea how to explain the shockingly deplorable play of one, Mr. Dwayne Jackson other than - and I’m basing this purely on the group he played with - that he must have been on a bit of a bender. When Dwayne’s net score of 46 (52 gross) was displayed on the TV there was a noticeable look of disbelief on the faces of those who caught sight of it. It was one of those moments that are often funny yet sad all at the same time... you know, kind of like watching Richard Garden chip, putt or fumble for a marker while waiting for someone to give him a three foot putt.
Word slowly worked its way around the room and, I imagine, the World Wide Web that someone had just posted a score so poor, so unsettling and so horribly disturbing that the consensus was it must have been either a data-entry mistake or poor Mr. Jackson had committed a twisted golf-themed form of hari-kari. There is no way Dwayne could possibly take 52 shots to cover our front nine without purposely tanking the performance but, alas, my friends… he tried his best on every shot.
"Dwayne, I asked quietly… what does it all mean?"
"Frankly, he said, I have no idea what it means but I'm frightened and want to go home.
He was obviously exhausted from the outing causing him to turn introspective and philosophical regarding a game he loves despite the fact that it continues to torment him week in and week out.
"Imagine a player, he directed me, so utterly devoid of skill and coordination that he lacks the ability to execute even the simplest of golf shots". I told him I was doing exactly that. "Now, he said, imagine a player even worse than that". I told him I was thinking of John Fendley. He said that even Johnny would have beaten him today. Now, even I am not that imaginative.
That is all,
The Architect
Questionable DNA
Jun 27, 2009 | Posted by The Archtiect
Before I get too deep into this week’s editorial, I have a little something on a gentleman who, from what I was told, did everything he could to make it to the top of our Most Useless Bastard category - Mr. Tom Kilmer. Tom's game, as of late anyway, fluctuates between, "why bother" and "what’s the point", but, in my opinion, his troubles stem not from the usual curse of poor hand-eye coordination but from a hard-against-the-grain view on course management. Tom’s a complex man who considers each shot from all angles but he ultimately relies heavily on a curious theory; if one swings hard enough - good things will follow. I was told that during this Thursday's round he was faced with a difficult decision prior to almost every shot; play safe or gamble, go with driver or lay up to a comfortable yardage, aim for the middle or try to hit it in close… I think you get the idea. I can just imagine Tommy trying to analyze his way around the front-nine while those around him stood confidently by knowing full well that in life or golf and, regardless of the circumstances, Mr. Kilmer will ultimately do the right thing - but only after exhausting every other option.
The big story so far this year (for me anyway) is the surprisingly good play of one, Mr. Andrew McCormack. It’s not so much that I’m shocked to see that Andrew has been shooting some pretty good numbers; I’ve seen him play enough golf to know he can get it around. What I don’t understand is how the hell he does it. I mean, look at the guy... I don’t think I’m going too far out on a limb when I say there’s a definite advantage to being tall and lithe when it comes to sports in general... and then there’s McCormack who, when he’s on the course, looks like a nattily-attired, Barney Rubble. Now, I’m not saying that a man of his stature can’t enjoy this game or even play it at a high level but, when you’ve been dealt the 9 – 2 off-suit hole cards of genetics... well, it just makes it that much tougher.
I will say this about Mr. McCormack though; he is definitely his own man and he seems have figured out how to dance like no one’s watching, sing like no one’s listening and, from what I’ve noticed lately, eat like no one’s paying.
The Unwritten Rules of Golf - Part I
You Are What You Shoot…
I am here to tell you that the moment you set foot on the 1st tee people only care about one thing - what kind of game you have. Once the pegs are in the ground no one gives a damn about the wealth you’ve amassed or the knobs with whom you hob… be it right or wrong; in the golf world it is your handicap that defines you my friends. And, I guarantee you this… people will judge you and your relative value to the club depending on your index - sorry Cory. It is that number that ultimately determines your position in golf’s hierarchy.
That is all,
The Architect
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