The Pace Rules

 Last night Dave Lee announced that our pace of place on Tuesdays should be locked onto a target of four hour and fifteen minutes. If a group is more than fifteen minutes late each member of that group will be assessed a two-stroke penalty, regardless of who in the group was slow. Here are some tips for breaking through the time challenge. The pro shop staff takes no responsibility for these…

1. For seniors, each hole should take no group more that fifteen minutes. Simply equate this time standard, on each hole, to your month’s sexual activity.
2. How long should we be looking for a golf ball? Golf balls are not part of the family. We must hold our grieving time down to less than two minutes. On that note, call and hit a provisional ball if you hit into some ka-ka (not a staked hazard).
3. Have a club in your hand ready as others are hitting. Preferably, it should be the club that you are going to make the next shot with.
4. Many of us are think we are master putters. This of course is proven by the number of successful putts made at the pot-of-gold putt-off, that will reach the lofty height of $1375.00. Some are spending too much time playing with their putters. To set aside any fears, going blind for excessive putter-play is just a rumour.

Sandied

 “Sandied” is a new phrase inaugurated this week after Myron Rudiak, who chipped in on hole six score went on to score an incredible low-net score of 26. However, he was not the low net of the week. He was “sandied” by Barry Cameron who potted a low score of 25. When I mentioned it to the original sandman, Mike McCabe, he could only smile and shake his head. I think we have all been “sandied” by this week’s low-net winners.

 Draw Showdown:

This week’s round tenth picks were Bill Zehr, Dave Abbott, Ian MacLean, Jay Ford, Chris Buhrow, John Hotson, Jack Dietrich, Bill Hawkins, Ron Holmes, Jason Lott, Warner Woodley and Jordan Mazzanti. The low net winner of $15.00 is Bill Zehr with a net 32.

 Next week’s round eleventh round participants will be Al Lightfoot, Bob Jeppesen, Kris Morrison, Mike Stanley, Bevan Moir, Barrie Beech, Terry Boyce, Rob Peters, Charles Longston, Fred Nichols, Doug Barkman and Jeremy Pike.

 As players in Men’s Day, we have up to three dates where we can pre-play our rounds because of absences. I think Dave Lee should have three do-overs throughout the season. Yesterday, in “beat the pro” would be one such do-over. There were more than a plethora of players to beat Dave’s score. Mark Straus and Brett Melton led the pack with super gross scores of 34. Jim Uniac ‘s net score of 46 jumped to the top of the useless bastard list and anointed him this week’s most useless bastard. He might try and match Gary Arnstowski who won the most improved golfer this week.

 The closest to hole today on hole four was Julian Shumka and hole eight was Doug Barkman. Congratulations. We also recognize those golfers who landed closest to the markers on the hole-nine drive. Today’s winners were Rod Hulme, Ken Chsiholm and Wayne Rider. Congratulations go out to Mark Walker for potting a one shot wonder on hole ten. We thank you sponsors. Next week we play off the back nine tees. Make sure your pre-played games are off the back after checking in with the proshop.

Ken Hundert